Pictured below is the story of Bob. Apparently Bob thought it was cool the deface historical buildings by carving his name in them. Bob was caught and fined $100. If I caught Bob doing something like that in Gotham, after I beat him to a bloody pulp, I would turn him over the Gotham PD and have him labeled as a wife beating pedophile and put in general population at Blackgate prison. How does that work for you, Bob?
Alfred would have a conniption if he knew how much I ate at this place. Seriously, I consumed so much grub I need to let out my cape. Mama is a cookin fiend...
Stopped by Metropolis to see if Clark was interested in joining me. You would have thought I suggested blowing Krypton up again. Someone should take that kryptonite stick out of his butt. Should have stopped by Bludhaven to see if Nightwing was busy...
Hey, this vacation thing is pretty sweet. Not much better than a nice breeze, some sunshine and a comfy rocker. Hell, if I didn't have dirtbags at home to break bones on for my release, I would totally get a few of these and put them on the back porch at the Manor. All I need now is a cold beer and a serving wench to make me sammich...
Here we go, the family truckster, grocery getter, the soccer mom van. What the hell? How am I supposed to pancake police cars with this thing?!?! Next thing you know I will be settled down with 2.8 kids, driving a Volvo station wagon and living in suburbia in a McMansion! Alfred would probably be OK with the smaller house, less to clean. Not sure about the kids, though. Look how the last one he raised turned out!
Packing is done, not sure if I am taking enough changes of clothes. The family that is taking me has yet to confirm their destination, so I am torn between my insulated suit or my ventilated summer garb. As for my non-crime clothes, I hope no one spots my Green Lantern undies. Hal has a sense of humor, but John gets a little testy when I sport them at the Hall Of Justice.
After carefully considering my options, I feel I have no choice but to take my show on the road. Gotham, while having no shortage of villainy and criminals to chase and apprehend, has grown stale for me. I need a vacation, so a road trip is the works. The Tumbler would be too conspicuous, so I will be traveling with family to disguise my intentions. Who knows who I may meet and or see on this trip. All I know is it is long overdue...
